Wednesday, October 26, 2005

God-botherer makes 'tit' of himself!

Sorry for the pun, and indeed colourful vernacular, but there's been an interesting development in the crazy world of Intelligent Design. For those unfamiliar with ID, it's basically a bunch of Christian fundamentalists, unhappy with evolution, trying to wrap their fairy stories in pseudo-scientific swaddling. Got that? Cushty.

Well, the head creationist... oops, sorry, I mean 'Intelligent Design Scientist', Michael Behe, has amended his description of ID. The original text, from the dubious tome, 'Of Pandas and People', goes like this:

"Intelligent design means that various forms of life began abruptly through an intelligent agency, with their distinctive features already intact - fish with fins and scales, birds with feathers, beaks and wings, etc."

While squirming in the dock for 3 days last week in Dover Pennsylvania, he said the description had now evolved (oh, the irony!) to the following:

"Sudden appearance means that various forms of life began abruptly through an intelligent agency, with their distinctive features already intact - fish with fins and scales, birds with feathers, beaks, wings, and mammals with fur and mammary glands, etc."

You'll spot a couple of differences here, but the main one for me has to be the perplexing, if not unwelcome, inclusion of 'mammary glands'. Excuse me? Are the 'bashers' trying to 'sex-up' their flacid theory using that tried-and-tested 'Carry On' stalwart... the comely bosom? As Kenneth Williams once told Hattie Jacques, "Ooh matron, there's a lot more meat on an older bird, probably because they descended from large, bipedal therapods!"

Anyhoo, the real shock came later when the attorney asked Behe whether the human body contained any examples of the 'beautiful structures' which ID proponents like to cite. Behe's answer... "I'm thinking of examples". Dude, you've just added breasts to your press release and you can't think of any beautiful structures?! Christ on a plate! You could almost hear the Pope himself screaming from the Vatican, "Boobies, man! Boobies! Just say it, you moron!" And to prove the Pontiff's point, click here for a lovely pair.

2 Comments:

At 9:19 am, Blogger Tim said...

If indeed there is an intelligent agency that created boobies I'd give him/her/it/them* only 1 mark out of 2.

Great on girls, bad on blokes!


* by him/her/it/them I do mean millions of years of evolution. But all the same... boobs - nice job!!

 
At 10:15 pm, Anonymous H said...

Made a lot of mistakes that Intelligent Designer. Not so sure he did such a good job of gathering the requirements either. I reckon if I wanted people to take my religion seriously, I'd want to blame someone else for the current state of the world's inhabitants, and stick to trying to sort it out.

I like the stars twinkling thing. Maybe next time you could find something which explains what happens to birds when they die. You don't see them lying around do you? And you should really, given how many of them there are.

 

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